i'm crabby

i love rainy days
i hate it when nate won't answer his phone


grrrrrrrrrr

so instead of running to target and taking out my anger on baked goods
(yes! i will eat you, and you will hate me, but i don't care! i am crabby!)
i am checking out new blogs

and just when i thought i had seen it all

i read this

"the party"

and it made me laugh
out loud

you should read it too.

it will turn your day from crabby to happy
and save all the baked goods at your local target store

the man i love

while reading a fave blogger's entry about her husband, and how incredibly proud and in love with him she is, it occurs to me how much i adore and appreciate my husband nate.

i tell him all the time. every day, multiple times a day.

but sometimes, its good to see those words in print. to set wings to the words and let them be free to touch people outside my four walls.

so i'll start as she did, and then do my best to do my man justice

:eh-hem:

"there are many things you don't know about my husband, but there aren't too many that I don't know."

i know that he has more strength and love than any man I've ever met. i can thank his momma for that. she raised him right, and showed him that men don't have to choose between being strong and being kind.

i know that he too, cannot, sleep without checking on all the kids, even our fourteen year old. and he can't sleep unless he's checked every door, because i don't sleep well unless he does.

i know that learning quickly and being naturally gifted at EVERYTHING he touches is his gift. i used to resent him for it, but now i appreciate his ability to do all things well, and right the first time. :)

i know that he holds his tongue more than anyone i know. not just around me, but others too. he doesn't hold it because he's a coward, but because he's learned that saying nothing speaks volumes, more so that a rambling fool.

i know he hurts sometimes, and he doesn't trust himself to open up. so its up to me to help him find the words.

i know he's sacrificed a world of opportunities to make my dreams a reality, from day one.

i know the minute i fell in love with him. sitting next to him at a high school friend's wedding, i wondered why it had taken me so long to see this man sitting next to me. four hours later, in a run-down denny's, he told me he loved me, and knew we'd be together forever.

he's handsome and funny, and if you're lucky enough to hear him laugh, you can't help but be caught up in it too.

he snores.

he hates reading. a lot. to the degree that i ADORE reading, he hates it.

he is an amazing dad, with more wisdom than i'll ever have. when days were the darkest, and with one foot out the door, i knew he was the reason our kids would be okay, and felt okay with leaving. but he asked me to stay, and then he had the amazing ability to teach me to parent the way he does, so i could be around to see all their happy days.

he likes clutter.

he was born to be a teacher. i hope someday, he is able to work in a classroom, because all kids adore and respect him, and he has a way of connecting to them.

he says yes to me even when he should say no to me, and i know it.

he smiles in his sleep, but never remembers his dreams.

he and i laugh about how long it took us to find the road that started our journey together. there were so many missed opportunities, but i see now that we weren't ready to be "us" yet.

i never knew how to be loved, and how to love, until i fell in love with nate. i didn't know that i could be someone's everything. and i didn't know how to fully love someone until i saw how effortlessly he loved me and "m", and how he made us a family.

it's a wonderful life, when you get to share it with the one you love.

the end of this and the beginning of that

the last day of fifth service
:sigh:
kylee and sara and christian shopping for cakes
diet coke
and magazines (a fifth service must!)

surprising me
blessing me
making me feel like i'd be truly missed

yummy cake (think dairy queen without the ice cream)
smiles and laughs
awkward photos
check check check




things i will miss:
gossip with kylie and dayna
starbucks runs
kuh-stang
slow claps
"i like me some fifth service"
old friends like scott and kyrstin and david
new friends like sara and christian
giving paul rides home
candy gorging in the control room
and lots and lots
and lots
and lots of laughs

thanks fifth

what's new with you?

who knew that four little words, asked by my friend "j", could shake me up.

"what's new with you"

welllllllllllllllllllll

let me rattle off six things about the kids, sports and friends and vacations and hobbies. then let's add nate's soon-coming promotion, and his trip to wisconsin and colorado. now add great news of my job reductions (a good thing), which has freed up some time for me.

but none of that is actually about me.

which made me really sad.

it tells me that not only am i INCREDIBLY boring, but i have failed to promote myself to the role of "valued player" in this family. i've managed everyone else's schedule and added on to their list of interests, but have neglected my own.

i have even :gasp: lost the motivation to read at night.

how sad!

yesterday, laying on the bed with nate, talking about this and that, i noticed that he (laying on his stomach with his feet up in the air behind him) couldn't get his feet anywhere near his head. so i pushed his feet, then his head, and tried to get them to touch. nope. wasn't happenening.

so then i tried to show him how i "used" to do it.

nope, that wasn't happening either.

so then i showed him how in gymastics, our coaches would get us more limber to be able to touch our feet to our head. stand about a foot from the wall, back to the wall, then arch your head back until your hands touch the wall. walk your hands down the wall, until your hands get to the floor.

i did it, kind of. not to the floor, but about 2 feet from it. not bad for a 33 year old counter jockey. haha

granted, while i did it, i slipped once and left a wet slide mark down the wall, because i guess i leave my mouth open when i do it. and then another time, my ponytail holder got caught on the light switch. good times

and then after i finished my acrobatic humiliation, it occurred to me that i did something right then that i hadn't done in i don't know how long.

no, not exercised, but thank you for that.

no, not embarrassed myself, that happens FAR too often.

at that moment, i did something just because i wanted to, because i enjoyed it. it took 2 minutes, and i did it. it wasn't about the kids, or nate. its something i did because i could, and because i wanted to.

so whats stopping me from doing this every day.

a goal: to have "something new" to tell people when they ask.

God knows i deserve a little fun. i guess it's time i start making some of my own.

i'm stalling

right now i'm supposed to be cleaning
running to the grocery store
washing bedding
cleaning up the kitchen
or showering

instead, i'm fiddling with my blog
hmmmm, i don't like change much
but i like it so far

i'm listening to the dogs scratch in their kennels
nobody told them i need 10 more minutes of silence

the kids are still sleeping
and the only noise in the house i hear is the
AC whirring through the vent
and the soothing "click click click" of the keyboard...

.....one of my favorite sounds

guests are coming
and i have to work this afternoon

i should be busy
but i'm not

just a few more minutes of silence
and then its off to the races

in need of some inspiration???

check this BEAUTIFUL home out, and the artwork is too too divine. :)

here's a clue:




















you can register to win "said artwork" too.

i'm already envisioning a room remodel in the colors of the print.

now which one to start with.

happy thursday! :)

what a productive day

it all started out so good, I just might get my hopes up....

woke up when nate did @ 730 (a first), and lay in an empty bathtib while he shaved and brushed and groomed himself ready for work. Who knew 10 minutes could be so enjoyable?

cleaned out desk....

....got all tax papers filed in fire-safe box, and moved pay stubs into folder for 2010 taxes...

.....clean out out purse while sitting at swim lessons, then cleaned out phone contacts and then email contacts i never use (goodbye friends from MCA who said they'd call. u never did. you've been erased. haha.......

.....made pack list for vacation...

.......made to do list for this week and next....

.........paid a speeding ticket that was$145 (not $75 like i thought). OUCH!.........

...... started packing for kalahari! woot! got all the non-clothing items packed for ourselves and the dogs....

......arranged for the boys' haircuts!


.........and its only 315!


now if i only knew what we were having for lunch