Monday, August 30, 2010

the end of this and the beginning of that

the last day of fifth service
kylee and sara and christian shopping for cakes
diet coke
and magazines (a fifth service must!)

surprising me
blessing me
making me feel like i'd be truly missed

yummy cake (think dairy queen without the ice cream)
smiles and laughs
awkward photos
check check check

things i will miss:
gossip with kylie and dayna
starbucks runs
slow claps
"i like me some fifth service"
old friends like scott and kyrstin and david
new friends like sara and christian
giving paul rides home
candy gorging in the control room
and lots and lots
and lots
and lots of laughs

thanks fifth

Monday, August 23, 2010

what's new with you?

who knew that four little words, asked by my friend "j", could shake me up.

"what's new with you"


let me rattle off six things about the kids, sports and friends and vacations and hobbies. then let's add nate's soon-coming promotion, and his trip to wisconsin and colorado. now add great news of my job reductions (a good thing), which has freed up some time for me.

but none of that is actually about me.

which made me really sad.

it tells me that not only am i INCREDIBLY boring, but i have failed to promote myself to the role of "valued player" in this family. i've managed everyone else's schedule and added on to their list of interests, but have neglected my own.

i have even :gasp: lost the motivation to read at night.

how sad!

yesterday, laying on the bed with nate, talking about this and that, i noticed that he (laying on his stomach with his feet up in the air behind him) couldn't get his feet anywhere near his head. so i pushed his feet, then his head, and tried to get them to touch. nope. wasn't happenening.

so then i tried to show him how i "used" to do it.

nope, that wasn't happening either.

so then i showed him how in gymastics, our coaches would get us more limber to be able to touch our feet to our head. stand about a foot from the wall, back to the wall, then arch your head back until your hands touch the wall. walk your hands down the wall, until your hands get to the floor.

i did it, kind of. not to the floor, but about 2 feet from it. not bad for a 33 year old counter jockey. haha

granted, while i did it, i slipped once and left a wet slide mark down the wall, because i guess i leave my mouth open when i do it. and then another time, my ponytail holder got caught on the light switch. good times

and then after i finished my acrobatic humiliation, it occurred to me that i did something right then that i hadn't done in i don't know how long.

no, not exercised, but thank you for that.

no, not embarrassed myself, that happens FAR too often.

at that moment, i did something just because i wanted to, because i enjoyed it. it took 2 minutes, and i did it. it wasn't about the kids, or nate. its something i did because i could, and because i wanted to.

so whats stopping me from doing this every day.

a goal: to have "something new" to tell people when they ask.

God knows i deserve a little fun. i guess it's time i start making some of my own.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

i'm stalling

right now i'm supposed to be cleaning
running to the grocery store
washing bedding
cleaning up the kitchen
or showering

instead, i'm fiddling with my blog
hmmmm, i don't like change much
but i like it so far

i'm listening to the dogs scratch in their kennels
nobody told them i need 10 more minutes of silence

the kids are still sleeping
and the only noise in the house i hear is the
AC whirring through the vent
and the soothing "click click click" of the keyboard... of my favorite sounds

guests are coming
and i have to work this afternoon

i should be busy
but i'm not

just a few more minutes of silence
and then its off to the races